Are you tired? I am too :')
A practice in acknowledging your capacity
I’ve been really tired recently, and the only way I’ve been able to shift into more energy is to actually acknowledge & honor that I am tired and not push against that. It is a delicate practice of balancing both taking action & slowing down…and the practice itself is EXHAUSTING! Lol, like why can’t I just ignore all these things and crawl into a hole, which actually is an option too, but I also got really tired of what that was leading me to and keeping me looped in. SO, if you too, are freaking tired of all the things, I invite you to create some space to slow down, check in with yourself and take some inventory of what those things you are tired of actually are; you know those things you want to complain about for a moment, but then keep in because you feel wrong for expressing yourself, which only keeps the energy of complaining stuck inside, in turn creating a reality that only offers you things to complain about…because remember babes, your perception creates your reality.
I’ll go first so you have an example…
-I’m tired of staying consistent and I’m tired of trying to find the motivation to keep being better; because lets be honest, that motivation is kind of burnt tf out right now
-I’m really tired of making grocery lists & meal plans each week, and then going to the grocery store (multiple) to shop for all the things, and then throughout the week to execute the cooking and the meals that I planned- I’m so tired of this
-However, I’m also really tired of eating foods that I know don’t serve me and make my body and energy even more depleted, which means I’m also tired of eating out all the time and not executing the above grocery list, meal plan, & cook rant
-I’m tired of waking up early (my schedule has adjusted to 4:30-5:30 am wake ups over the last 3 months), getting the house going each morning, getting my man off to work, walking the dogs, then clocking into work to be there for the next 8 hours
-I’m tired of work & all the change that goes down in my job (a start up, which I signed up for lol), but the way that things just flip at a moments notice, without any freaking heads up. I also know that they type of tired that comes with not having a job, not knowing how you are going to pay rent/bills, and living pay check to pay check is 1000% worse than any emotions/complaints that arise with my current position.
-I’m tired of being tired after signing off from work and not spending the time doing what I want/know I need to keep on doin
-I’m so tired of spending all of me free time scrolling on social media and always going to my phone whenever I need a moment, or have a break. And then, because I spent all my time on social media, I complain about the time I don’t have to write or create pieces like this- I’m so tired of this loop!
-I’m tired of doing things that zap my energy and knowing they do and still doing them, ie scrolling, not working out/moving my body, eating out….
-I’m tired of finding a balance between holding myself accountable & being gentle with myself
-I’m tired of signing up for yoga classes each week, and then going to the yoga class each week, and I’m also really tired of not having any of the energy I need or want to keep growing in life, which I know I get from said yoga classes each week
-I’m so tired of being too tired to pour into what lights my soul on fire and not having the energy to do the things I want to do, or to find the energy to do more of the things I know I need to be doing, and I’m also tired of rushing/pushing myself ahead when I have no capacity to do so (I know I’ve already expressed this in a different way, clearly my soul has something to say about this one)
-I’m tired of knowing what it is that is holding me back and not doing anything about it, aka I’m tired of second guessing myself and doubting anything about what I trust deep down
To wrap this up, I may be tired of all the above, but I’m also really tired of:
-Not living up to my full potential
-Staying stuck in loops
-Not living the life I know I am meant for
Which is why I’d rather acknowledge when I’m tired of taking all the steps to build the life I desire vs give up when all I need is the space to express what is real for me + rest a bit
I’d rather acknowledge the moments where I know I don’t want to do something, and then be gentle with myself from there vs staying looped in the same shit forever
I’d rather acknowledge those temporary moments that feel like forever (because I keep dwelling vs acknowledging) that I don’t have the energy to do something vs give into the instant gratification that only keeps me feeling like I don’t have the energy to do what I need/desire
In the past, I have chosen to push through all of the places in which I’ve felt tired, and I can tell you from experience that temporarily you can get through it, but faking that energy vs being real with it//acknowledging it will only keep you burnt out and stuck in that loop of feeling tired and not happy for much longer than you’d like.
When you allow yourself to be tired without bringing in any self imposed judgement, criticism, guilt, or shame you offer yourself a space to naturally fill your reserves back up. Those 4 above energies (judgement, criticism, guilt, shame) are some of the heaviest & most draining that we can dabble in; I do not believe we can escape them as they are natural human responses, however, with the awareness that they weigh our energy down, we can be more intentional & when they do come in counter act/balance them with the 4 lightest energies: unconditional love, compassion, gentleness, & acceptance.
And you could be reading this, and like intellectually know it- your brain understands what I am saying, yet for some reason you can’t seem to sacrifice that instant gratification of doing the thing you know you don’t want to do because you have low capacity, which the in turn cues the lowest 4 energies (judgement, criticism, guilt, shame)- this is where the 4 lighter energies (unconditional love, compassion, gentleness, acceptance) come into play…this will naturally allow for more of an understanding that you are aware that:
-you don’t want to go backwards
-don’t really know how to move forward
-and are tired of trying to understand it
Choosing the 4 lighter energies vs the 4 heavier ones are the first steps to take internally if you’d like to shift your external reality.
Full disclosure, this isn’t an all at once type of practice, and that balanced feeling does not happen over night. It is a practice that asks us to go slow, to be patient, to go one step, one day, one moment, one thought, & one breath at a time.
Are you willing to lovingly call yourself out when you feel like giving up vs push against yourself?
Are you ready to practice filling your cup back up vs depleting it?
It is time to choose compassion & gentleness over the facade of strength
So maybe you are tired too, and that is okay, in fact, it is more normal than anyone likes to admit. As we move forward from this point on, how can we vow to instead of giving up when we feel tired, that we practice honoring our capacity and knowing when it is time to pull your energy in & take a step back, to rest, to nourish and replenish instead?
What would happen if you started to admit you are tired? To actually acknowledge your capacity? To honor your body’s needs?
And at first, when you do start to acknowledge those spaces of lower capacity it may seem like you are doing something wrong, because we have been taught to keep going and push against it, to just suck it up and keep going, to be tough, ect
Cue the internal conversations that: people who rest aren’t strong, or that you’ll lose momentum if you slow down, or you’ll fall behind your colleagues/peers, or maybe you won’t be able to catch up one you get back to full energy, you’ll lose what you built….…
I’ve learned that it actually takes a massive amount of strength, courage, resilience, and self acceptance to admit your tired, at your lowest capacity, and need to take a step back, while also fully trusting and knowing that this space is going to serve you ten fold. Along with understanding that you may not receive the instant gratification or validation you are looking for, but you trust heavily that in time, you will be replenished beyond compare.
Remember, building a life of stability takes time, growth takes time, forming new habits take time, and that you are doing an amazing job. Your human cannot see the full picture of what is coming because your soul is asking you to be present with your process so you can see and FEEL that when you create the space to slow down, check in, and honor your capacity you in turn create the quantum leaps you’ve been thinking about//know are there for you
As always, I am sending you so much love, and whatever you are currently navigating~ you freaking got this <3 :)
